1 00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:07,991 The "Today" show? 2 00:00:08,025 --> 00:00:10,544 {\an8}-We are talking to Pulitzer Prize-winning author 3 00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:13,505 Lindy Littlejohn about her sensational new short story. 4 00:00:13,539 --> 00:00:15,799 Reality check, you didn't fucking write it. 5 00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:18,135 {\an8}-You know, everything I write provokes someone. 6 00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:20,470 I'm acting perfectly normal! 7 00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:22,556 Maybe control is his love language. 8 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,141 You ran out saying someone could be dead. 9 00:00:24,174 --> 00:00:26,393 Yeah, Lindy is-- Lindy is having a hard time. 10 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,811 As our size decreased, 11 00:00:27,844 --> 00:00:29,730 our proportional strength increased. 12 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,232 This is your time. 13 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,483 Tell me it's my turn. 14 00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:36,194 My turn is yet to win me the Nobel. 15 00:00:36,228 --> 00:00:37,988 The Nobel? 16 00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:39,531 How can I trust you 17 00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:41,158 if you're gonna expose me like that? 18 00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:42,910 Don't trust me then! 19 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,036 So the seizures have nothing to do with miniaturization? 20 00:00:44,069 --> 00:00:45,245 Completely unrelated. 21 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,413 Lindy? 22 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,414 Right here, Les. 23 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,541 And I can take care of myself. 24 00:00:49,575 --> 00:00:51,335 Lindy? Is that you? 25 00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:53,253 She was going to leave me. It was an accident. 26 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,923 Until you are honest, you are fucked. 27 00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,758 She left us, didn't she? 28 00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:01,178 Lindy was on the "Today" show this morning. 29 00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:02,896 What? What? What?! 30 00:01:04,590 --> 00:01:07,442 Truth is, I miniaturized you... 31 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,071 on purpose. 32 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:36,930 Whatever. 33 00:01:47,758 --> 00:01:51,478 If I was Mom, what would my password be? 34 00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:01,622 Oh, yeah. 35 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:05,117 "'Darling Daughter' by Lindy McMichael Littlejohn. 36 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:08,745 "What if I told you I spent nine months building a jail, 37 00:02:08,779 --> 00:02:11,999 "only to sentence myself to a lifetime in prison? 38 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:15,510 "That, I've discovered, is what motherhood actually is. 39 00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:21,842 "From her adorable baby's face, those demonic eyes stare out. 40 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,594 "Laughing at me. 'Yes,' she's saying, 41 00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,813 "'I've ruined your fucking day again.' 42 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,849 "'Mommy!' She cries. 43 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,809 "Her voice a razor blade to my ears. 44 00:02:30,842 --> 00:02:32,436 "I want her to call out for me. 45 00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:33,937 "I wanna be there for her. 46 00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,148 "I want my maternal instinct to kick in. 47 00:02:36,181 --> 00:02:37,524 "Why won't it? 48 00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,359 "I dream of a life without a daughter, 49 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,611 "sucking at the teat of inspiration, 50 00:02:41,645 --> 00:02:43,196 "preventing me from being... 51 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,833 "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." 52 00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:51,713 Fuck. Mom hates me. 53 00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:08,730 ♪ Maybe it's much ♪ ♪ Too early in the game ♪ 54 00:03:11,508 --> 00:03:15,645 ♪ But I thought ♪ ♪ I'd ask you just the same ♪ 55 00:03:17,723 --> 00:03:20,984 ♪ What are you doing ♪ ♪ New Year's... ♪ 56 00:03:21,017 --> 00:03:23,078 Got your invitation. 57 00:03:24,062 --> 00:03:26,656 A New Year's Eve brunch for me? 58 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:29,201 I mean, I'm honored. 59 00:03:29,234 --> 00:03:31,086 But what, uh, what prompted this? 60 00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,580 A new perspective. 61 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:34,631 Huh. 62 00:03:35,699 --> 00:03:37,926 I'm embracing my six-inch self. 63 00:03:38,326 --> 00:03:42,756 But I realized I've been kind of a jerk. 64 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:46,051 Hey, jerk is strong, given the circumstances. 65 00:03:46,084 --> 00:03:49,346 See? You've been nothing but kind, Richard. 66 00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:51,148 And I wanted you to know, 67 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:55,393 I am grateful for you and your company. 68 00:03:55,427 --> 00:03:58,855 "The course of true love never did run smooth." 69 00:03:58,889 --> 00:04:01,024 Shakespeare. - No. 70 00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:02,909 New year, new me. 71 00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:06,696 I'm sorry. - Mom always says, 72 00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,448 it's never too late to begin again. 73 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,200 Oh, your mom. 74 00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,701 So wise. - Right? 75 00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:13,453 To new beginnings. 76 00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:14,621 You know what else my mom said-- 77 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:15,747 Should we eat? 78 00:04:15,781 --> 00:04:17,374 It's just gonna get cold, I think. 79 00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:18,758 - Okay. - Okay. 80 00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:40,989 Oh. 81 00:04:42,098 --> 00:04:43,733 A tremendous success. 82 00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,735 Subject expanded to regular size 83 00:04:45,769 --> 00:04:48,655 and stabilized for two minutes and 3.3 seconds. 84 00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:52,242 An increase of one minute and 32.7 seconds! 85 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:54,286 all: Yes! - Whoo! Science progress! 86 00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:57,247 Yeah! Oh. 87 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,623 - Well done. - Yeah! Great job. 88 00:04:58,657 --> 00:05:00,000 - That is well done. - Great job. 89 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,334 - Well done. - Yeah. Slowing the reaction 90 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,003 down, way, way down helped, um... 91 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,629 Yes. The, uh, nuclei need time... 92 00:05:04,663 --> 00:05:06,173 Yeah. - ...which is acceptable... 93 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,175 Yes. - ...to form stronger bonds. 94 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,427 Yes. Uh, it's fundamental to--yes, 95 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:13,305 for those fragile--uh, to cement those connections. 96 00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:14,931 The--or, uh, alliances. 97 00:05:14,965 --> 00:05:17,017 - Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. - Yes. 98 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,810 Are we talking about science? 99 00:05:18,844 --> 00:05:20,854 Yes, Hilton. 100 00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,606 We're always talking about science. 101 00:05:22,639 --> 00:05:24,241 This is a lab of science. 102 00:05:24,508 --> 00:05:25,442 Okay. Well, I heard a bang, and then, there was, like, 103 00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:27,819 a cheer of release, so my mind went there. 104 00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:29,654 It was in my head. Is there good news? 105 00:05:29,688 --> 00:05:31,281 It was a big win, yes. 106 00:05:31,314 --> 00:05:32,824 Slowing the expansion of the corn 107 00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:35,919 mitigated the molecular disequilibrium, yes. 108 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,122 Translation, it's remarkable progress. 109 00:05:39,155 --> 00:05:41,124 Fuck yeah. We should celebrate. 110 00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:43,793 I'm having a New Year's Eve shindig tonight at my place. 111 00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:46,171 Gonna be amazing food, crazy guest list, 112 00:05:46,204 --> 00:05:48,215 and you are all invited. 113 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,841 Wait, it's New Year's Eve? 114 00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:53,011 Uh, I can't go. Uh, it's my anniversary. 115 00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:54,638 Oh. Just bring Lindy. 116 00:05:54,671 --> 00:05:55,505 It'll be great to see her again. 117 00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:58,692 Well, well, uh... 118 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:02,812 I only organize fantastic parties. 119 00:06:02,846 --> 00:06:05,232 You gotta come. Done. Set. Happy. 120 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,950 See you all there. 121 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,077 Whoo! 122 00:06:09,844 --> 00:06:13,323 Translation, see you all there means Les only. 123 00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:14,866 And you can't say no. 124 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,248 Do you think you'll bring Lindy? 125 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,666 Um, I don't know. 126 00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,926 I mean, I--it's--uh, I don't know. 127 00:06:27,913 --> 00:06:29,589 Lindy [on recording]: Hey, I've done a lot of thinking, 128 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:32,425 and I'm embracing my six-inch self 129 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,427 so, New Year, new me. 130 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:37,013 I forgive you for shrinking me on purpose. 131 00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:38,682 Meet me in the dollhouse. 132 00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:40,558 I have an anniversary surprise for you. 133 00:06:46,598 --> 00:06:47,857 {\an8}woman: Oh, the missus? 134 00:06:47,891 --> 00:06:49,276 {\an8}She left. 135 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,902 {\an8}Was she mad? 136 00:06:50,936 --> 00:06:53,363 woman: She had two glasses of wine and left. 137 00:06:53,396 --> 00:06:54,614 So she was mad. 138 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,366 Maybe disappointed. 139 00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:57,751 That's worse. Isn't it? 140 00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:00,578 Happy New Year. 141 00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:04,007 woman: Charlie, what's happening? 142 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,380 He shouldn't be alone right now. 143 00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:11,631 man: Let him go. 144 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:12,766 Hi. 145 00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:15,185 Hi. 146 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,816 - Hey, Lindy. - Hey, Les. 147 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,611 Happy anniversary. 148 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,148 It's okay. Lay into me. I... 149 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,733 I deserve it. 150 00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:30,825 You do. 151 00:07:33,645 --> 00:07:35,163 But I understand. 152 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,783 You do? 153 00:07:38,817 --> 00:07:39,784 You're caught up in your work. 154 00:07:39,818 --> 00:07:41,244 And when you're in it, 155 00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:43,963 you can lose track of birthdays, holidays. 156 00:07:45,115 --> 00:07:47,133 I know I do. Did. 157 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,087 You supported me in the way I needed it, 158 00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:55,058 so I'm supporting you. 159 00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:59,095 - Okay. - Uh-hmm. 160 00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:02,432 So I was mad. 161 00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:06,519 I mean, I was alone in a restaurant 162 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,821 on New Year's Eve. 163 00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:12,275 But then, I came home and I got cozy, 164 00:08:12,308 --> 00:08:14,152 and I was gonna watch the ball drop with Lulu, 165 00:08:14,185 --> 00:08:15,487 but she won't come out of her room. 166 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,781 Probably something to do with Steffy. 167 00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:19,282 And so, I opened up a bottle 168 00:08:19,315 --> 00:08:22,669 of your do-not-touch-until-never wine. 169 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,256 And now I feel better. 170 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,260 I love you. 171 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,684 I love you too. 172 00:08:41,171 --> 00:08:42,889 Feel free to apologize profusely. 173 00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,641 - Yeah. - And maybe next time 174 00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:46,017 bring me those chocolates I like from the drugstore. 175 00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:49,020 I am sorry and I apologize profusely for, um, 176 00:08:49,054 --> 00:08:52,365 disappointing you and for forgetting our anniversary. 177 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,411 I forgive you. 178 00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:10,091 - It's, like, the big box. - Yeah. 179 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,054 - Well, happy anniversary. - Happy anniversary. 180 00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:17,557 All right. All is forgiven. 181 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,479 Lindy? 182 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:28,234 Oh, Lindy... 183 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,157 Lindy? 184 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,993 You got me intrigued. 185 00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:53,927 Happy anniversary, honey! 186 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,921 Happy anniversary. 187 00:09:56,955 --> 00:09:58,765 Oh, you remembered! 188 00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:08,274 What is that? 189 00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:11,277 Your surprise. 190 00:10:13,138 --> 00:10:16,733 Oh. I--it's not what you think, Les. 191 00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:19,035 It's exactly what you think. 192 00:10:20,311 --> 00:10:22,906 Uh, Richard? Is that really you? 193 00:10:22,939 --> 00:10:23,823 Yeah. 194 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,325 Richard Paul Wear 195 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,619 from your fucking lab. 196 00:10:27,652 --> 00:10:31,080 This is not how I foresaw us having this conversation. 197 00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,917 You and him--and her? What? 198 00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:36,252 You thought we would have a conversation? 199 00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:37,837 What? - One day. 200 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,756 As gentlemen. 201 00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,132 - How long? - Forever. 202 00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,092 Six and a half months. Barely. 203 00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:46,262 - Uh, why him? - He's not you! 204 00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:48,598 It was a chance encounter. Um, but you have-- 205 00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:49,933 Lindy, how could you? Because I... 206 00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,643 I told you the truth. 207 00:10:51,676 --> 00:10:53,603 I poured my heart out to you. 208 00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:56,147 I was vulnerable. And now this? Why? Why? 209 00:10:56,181 --> 00:11:00,443 I did it... on purpose! 210 00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:01,653 On purpose? 211 00:11:01,686 --> 00:11:03,446 Yeah, he knows why. 212 00:11:03,479 --> 00:11:04,948 But you forgave me. 213 00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:07,750 I lied! 214 00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:13,122 How dare you. How dare me? 215 00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:16,459 So, you can lie, leave a voice note, and what? 216 00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:17,794 You're Abraham Lincoln? 217 00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:21,130 You baited me on a voice note, 218 00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:24,133 and then you exploited our wedding anniversary, 219 00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,635 and then you reveal you're having an affair 220 00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:27,303 with my physicist? 221 00:11:27,337 --> 00:11:28,680 How is that the same? 222 00:11:28,713 --> 00:11:32,141 It's not. It's meant to be worse! 223 00:11:32,175 --> 00:11:34,185 I was lying to be kind... 224 00:11:34,219 --> 00:11:35,520 - No, no. - ...to spare your feelings. 225 00:11:35,553 --> 00:11:37,647 A lie is a lie! 226 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,066 As someone who has been lied to as well. 227 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:42,986 - You! You're my colleague. - Yes. 228 00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:44,571 That's my wife. - I know. 229 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,489 Richard, what in the name of science? 230 00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:48,491 Like, what the... fuck?! 231 00:11:50,193 --> 00:11:54,872 What the fucking fuck?! 232 00:11:54,906 --> 00:11:56,215 Fuck! 233 00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:08,928 This is not fucking funny! 234 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:12,056 You're holding a pillow over your tiny junk. 235 00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:13,391 It's so tiny. 236 00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:15,351 You're both so tiny. 237 00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:16,894 Oop, there's the tiny bum. 238 00:12:16,928 --> 00:12:19,188 That's so cute. Fuck you! 239 00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:21,524 I am gonna fucking kill you! 240 00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:24,527 - Oh, yeah? Try. - I'm fucking--you're a liar! 241 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,529 You lied! - What's that? 242 00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:28,197 Did you say something? - I--fuck you! 243 00:12:28,231 --> 00:12:32,460 You made me this way! I fucking hate you! 244 00:12:33,778 --> 00:12:37,540 - I think you dropped this. - Fuck you! 245 00:12:37,573 --> 00:12:39,250 Are you tap dancing? 246 00:12:39,284 --> 00:12:41,544 No. Fuck you. Fuck you. 247 00:12:41,577 --> 00:12:44,097 Hey, hey, I think this has gone far enough. 248 00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:47,383 You know what, Richard? 249 00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:49,135 I think you're right. 250 00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:56,818 Hold on. 251 00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:04,400 This is not good. - Oh, you think? You think? 252 00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:06,569 I can't believe you did this on purpose. 253 00:13:06,602 --> 00:13:08,404 On purpose? Why would you do that? 254 00:13:08,438 --> 00:13:10,448 - You don't--Richard, hey, hey. - Oh, my God. I feel sick. 255 00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:13,076 - This is not about you, okay? - Where is my mom? 256 00:13:13,109 --> 00:13:14,452 Oh, no! 257 00:13:14,485 --> 00:13:16,954 No! Richard! 258 00:13:16,988 --> 00:13:18,581 Les, Les, we gotta talk about this. 259 00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:19,916 Les, please. 260 00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:21,250 No man could've resisted 261 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,252 the siren song of that woman. 262 00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,254 The beguiling web she weaved. 263 00:13:25,288 --> 00:13:27,590 The hypnotic allure of that brunch. 264 00:13:27,623 --> 00:13:30,093 She deceived me! She deceived both of us! 265 00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,928 No. 266 00:13:31,961 --> 00:13:36,349 You deceived me, Richard, for six and a half months. 267 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,102 We share thoughts, we share science. 268 00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:41,688 We do not share my wife. 269 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,773 Les, I'm sorry. Nothing happened between us. 270 00:13:43,806 --> 00:13:44,941 I... 271 00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:46,826 Okay, you're squeezing kind of tightly. 272 00:13:47,685 --> 00:13:48,661 Les. 273 00:13:49,645 --> 00:13:51,030 Please. Okay. 274 00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,116 Oh, where are we going? 275 00:13:53,149 --> 00:13:54,617 Les, no, no, no. No, no, no. Les. 276 00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,327 Hello, Dolores. Les, please. 277 00:13:56,361 --> 00:13:59,455 Les. No. Les, you can't do this. 278 00:13:59,489 --> 00:14:01,624 Please. Les. Les! 279 00:14:01,657 --> 00:14:02,834 Les, no! No, please! 280 00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:04,377 Les. Les. Les, no, no, no. 281 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:13,344 No! No! 282 00:14:13,378 --> 00:14:14,971 No! Please, stop! 283 00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,472 Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up. 284 00:14:22,053 --> 00:14:24,021 Please, in the name of science! 285 00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:25,815 How dare you blaspheme science? 286 00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:27,817 - No, no. - On top of everything else. 287 00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,736 No! Please! No, no. 288 00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,320 Meet your new playmate, pretty bird. 289 00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:33,489 - Please, no. - His name is Fuck You. 290 00:14:33,523 --> 00:14:34,741 I don't wanna play with a bird. 291 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,325 I don't wanna play with a bird. 292 00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:37,910 Oh! 293 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,045 Oh! Oh! 294 00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:42,423 Oh, my God, no! 295 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,719 It's, uh, Dolores, right? 296 00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:51,382 Good birdie. Good birdie. 297 00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:52,392 Hey. 298 00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:56,179 Oh. Uh, the pen. 299 00:14:56,212 --> 00:14:58,397 Is the pen truly mightier than the sword? 300 00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:01,567 En garde! 301 00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,112 I'm coming, Richard. I'm coming. 302 00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,076 Oh. 303 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,779 Shit. 304 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,405 Okay. Okay. 305 00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:20,002 Oh, what is he doing? 306 00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:30,847 {\an8}What is that? 307 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,432 {\an8}Shut the fuck up, Space Anus. 308 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,817 Live in darkness. 309 00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:10,678 Richard? 310 00:16:12,997 --> 00:16:14,223 Richie! 311 00:16:26,761 --> 00:16:27,945 Richard! 312 00:16:31,349 --> 00:16:32,408 Richie. 313 00:16:38,856 --> 00:16:39,874 Richard! 314 00:16:44,862 --> 00:16:45,880 Richie! 315 00:16:47,949 --> 00:16:50,051 Richard! Where are you? 316 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,505 Richie? I'm sorry. 317 00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:56,599 I know this is all my fault. 318 00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,385 Oh, fuck. 319 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:01,145 That is a lot of texts. 320 00:17:03,381 --> 00:17:04,899 {\an8}Wait. 321 00:17:07,468 --> 00:17:08,611 {\an8}What? 322 00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:12,732 {\an8}No. Oh, my God. 323 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:13,991 {\an8}What is she...? 324 00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:17,904 {\an8}Good morning. We recently featured 325 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,239 {\an8}Pulitzer Prize-winning author Lindy Littlejohn 326 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,742 {\an8}on the Read with Jenna segment of our show. 327 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,411 {\an8}We've learned Lindy's been accused of plagiarizing 328 00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,455 {\an8}her recently published New Yorker short story, 329 00:17:27,488 --> 00:17:29,373 {\an8}"Untitled on Purpose." 330 00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:32,084 {\an8}The shocking allegation originated from an unexpected 331 00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:34,879 {\an8}and personal place, a viral TikTok video 332 00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:36,923 {\an8}posted by the author's own daughter... 333 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,925 {\an8}- ...Louise Littlejohn. 334 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:43,262 {\an8}-So, my mom is a, quote, "successful writer," unquote. 335 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,806 {\an8}- Lulu! - She wrote one book 336 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,558 {\an8}150 years ago. 337 00:17:47,592 --> 00:17:50,603 {\an8}Anyway, this week, out of nowhere, 338 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,397 {\an8}Mom drops a short story in The New Yorker? 339 00:17:53,431 --> 00:17:56,108 {\an8}And everyone loses their [bleep] over it. 340 00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:59,946 {\an8}Well, I'm gonna let you in on a big secret. 341 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,740 {\an8}My mom didn't write it. 342 00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:05,576 {\an8}She stole it from one of her students. 343 00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:07,244 {\an8}What the actual fuck? The truth is, my mom 344 00:18:07,278 --> 00:18:08,746 {\an8}doesn't even write anymore. 345 00:18:08,779 --> 00:18:10,414 {\an8}She spends her days watching Housewives 346 00:18:10,448 --> 00:18:12,249 {\an8}and making fake Paris Review accounts 347 00:18:12,283 --> 00:18:13,918 {\an8}so she can [bleep] talk other writers. 348 00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:15,586 {\an8}You... 349 00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,296 {\an8}We were unable to reach Lindy Littlejohn 350 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,590 {\an8}directly for comment, but we were able to reach 351 00:18:19,624 --> 00:18:22,760 {\an8}the author's mother, Diane McMichael Jones, 352 00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,929 {\an8}who is widely suspected to have inspired 353 00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:26,931 {\an8}the mother character in her daughter's 354 00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:29,016 {\an8}Pulitzer Prize-winning debut novel, 355 00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:31,310 {\an8}My Rainbow Starts with Black. 356 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,987 {\an8}-No, I have no comment. 357 00:18:35,056 --> 00:18:36,857 {\an8}Except to say, 358 00:18:36,891 --> 00:18:39,527 {\an8}I haven't read Lindy's little story. 359 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,529 {\an8}But I will say, I didn't care for her portrayal 360 00:18:41,562 --> 00:18:43,322 {\an8}of the mother character in her novel. 361 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,325 {\an8}-The real crime is that Lindy made me out 362 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:50,004 {\an8}to be a terrible mother, which I'm not. 363 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,833 What a wild, unexpected turn 364 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,292 for Lindy Littlejohn. 365 00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:56,711 We'll continue to follow this story 366 00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:59,180 and keep you updated as it develops. 367 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,219 Lulu [on video]: I'm gonna let you in on a big secret. 368 00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:07,722 My mom didn't write it. 369 00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:10,766 She stole it from one of her students. 370 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,269 The truth is, my mom doesn't even write anymore. 371 00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:15,438 She spends her days watching Housewives 372 00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:17,148 and making fake Paris Review accounts 373 00:19:17,181 --> 00:19:18,899 so she can shit talk other writers. 374 00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:20,818 St. Lulu DeLulu. 375 00:19:20,851 --> 00:19:22,403 Oh, sorry. I didn't hear my name. 376 00:19:22,436 --> 00:19:23,779 I didn't call it. 377 00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:25,614 I want to bring it to you personally. 378 00:19:25,648 --> 00:19:27,324 Oh. 379 00:19:27,358 --> 00:19:29,452 Okay. Thank you. 380 00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:30,953 barista: I also have a complicated 381 00:19:30,986 --> 00:19:32,296 relationship with my mother. 382 00:19:32,596 --> 00:19:35,291 Here, a cakepop, on me. 383 00:19:35,324 --> 00:19:37,334 I hope you like vanilla. 384 00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:39,720 - Thank you. - Thank you, St. Lulu DeLulu. 385 00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,852 ♪ This time of night ♪ ♪ Feels like ♪ 386 00:19:54,885 --> 00:19:58,272 ♪ I'm losing my mind to find ♪ 387 00:19:58,305 --> 00:20:01,659 ♪ The smell of blood ♪ ♪ In my dreams ♪ 388 00:20:03,894 --> 00:20:08,491 ♪ Darkness and silence bring ♪ ♪ The fear in your eyes ♪ 389 00:20:33,591 --> 00:20:34,975 Here's to us. 390 00:20:35,009 --> 00:20:36,185 I thought you were bringing an us. 391 00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:37,311 No, fuck that us. 392 00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:38,646 New Year, new Les. 393 00:20:38,679 --> 00:20:40,698 Wow, who knew? Hey! 394 00:20:42,057 --> 00:20:43,567 No Lindy tonight? 395 00:20:43,601 --> 00:20:44,568 No, no, she's at home, under a blanket, 396 00:20:44,602 --> 00:20:45,861 not in a party mood, no. 397 00:20:45,895 --> 00:20:48,155 Oh. Well, I can't say I blame her. 398 00:20:48,189 --> 00:20:52,159 Uh, that interview turned into quite the Greek tragedy. 399 00:20:52,193 --> 00:20:53,661 But you can tell me. 400 00:20:53,694 --> 00:20:56,205 I won't tell anyone other than everyone. 401 00:20:57,698 --> 00:20:59,667 Did she do it? Plagiarize the story? 402 00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,168 Oh, I don't know. 403 00:21:01,202 --> 00:21:02,837 What? I don't know. 404 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:05,673 Right answer. Deny, deny, deny. 405 00:21:05,706 --> 00:21:06,924 All set for tonight? 406 00:21:06,957 --> 00:21:08,342 Everything is in place. Great. 407 00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:09,477 General Henderson: Hilton. - Oh, General. 408 00:21:10,544 --> 00:21:12,847 - May I have a word? - Oh, of course. 409 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,231 Looking forward to the party trick. 410 00:21:15,466 --> 00:21:17,852 - Party trick? What? - A performance. 411 00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:20,354 There are several important private equity investors here 412 00:21:20,387 --> 00:21:21,772 that Hilton would love to impress 413 00:21:21,806 --> 00:21:23,065 with a preview of your tech. 414 00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:24,942 Absolutely not. 415 00:21:24,975 --> 00:21:28,195 I am a scientist, not a party clown. 416 00:21:28,229 --> 00:21:30,197 You know the tech is incomplete. What am I supposed to do? 417 00:21:30,231 --> 00:21:31,699 Fake it? No. 418 00:21:31,732 --> 00:21:34,243 It's just a preview, short and sweet. 419 00:21:34,276 --> 00:21:36,086 The corn is small, ta-da. 420 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,206 The corn is big, ta-da. End of story. 421 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,583 - It's fraud. - It's sales. 422 00:21:40,616 --> 00:21:43,377 It's my ass in prison is what it is. 423 00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:45,546 I've already got a journalist poking around the lab, 424 00:21:45,579 --> 00:21:47,298 asking questions about Bob the Explainer's 425 00:21:47,331 --> 00:21:48,799 MedBot brother-in-law. 426 00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,434 What's to stop Nils exposing me? 427 00:21:51,585 --> 00:21:54,146 Let me worry about Nils and your ass. 428 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,482 It is one worth saving. 429 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:59,560 Tonight, the only thing on your mind 430 00:21:59,593 --> 00:22:02,446 should be Nobel. 431 00:22:02,930 --> 00:22:04,398 Nobel? 432 00:22:04,431 --> 00:22:05,449 Nobel. 433 00:22:09,687 --> 00:22:11,288 Do you see what I see? 434 00:22:16,277 --> 00:22:18,787 That's Dr. Emil Schaffhausen. 435 00:22:18,821 --> 00:22:20,080 Nobel Prize recipient 436 00:22:20,114 --> 00:22:21,582 and current committee member. 437 00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:22,917 Chair, in fact. 438 00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:24,585 Oh, I did my postgraduate work 439 00:22:24,618 --> 00:22:27,129 on Dr. Schaffhausen's Theory of Entanglement Swapping. 440 00:22:27,162 --> 00:22:28,964 He is a bona fide science genius. 441 00:22:28,998 --> 00:22:30,507 Yes. Yes, yes, yes. 442 00:22:30,541 --> 00:22:32,593 Just imagine what the support of a man like that 443 00:22:32,626 --> 00:22:34,645 would do for your career. 444 00:22:35,462 --> 00:22:36,814 It's just a preview, 445 00:22:37,548 --> 00:22:42,152 short and sweet, small and big. 446 00:22:43,804 --> 00:22:45,030 Ta-da. 447 00:22:59,653 --> 00:23:01,497 Hey, why are you here? 448 00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:02,706 Why are any of us here? 449 00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:04,333 Oh, God. Is this where we are? 450 00:23:04,366 --> 00:23:07,044 Um, well, everyone else is, uh, down the hall, 451 00:23:07,077 --> 00:23:08,462 getting drunk as hell, watching the tourists 452 00:23:08,495 --> 00:23:10,297 in Times Square freeze their asses off. 453 00:23:10,331 --> 00:23:12,800 We're doing a shot every time a police horse takes a dump. 454 00:23:14,084 --> 00:23:15,853 I need something different in my life. 455 00:23:20,758 --> 00:23:22,067 What's this? 456 00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:24,194 Something different. 457 00:23:29,558 --> 00:23:31,902 - Did you open this? - No--yes. 458 00:23:31,936 --> 00:23:33,537 It's my job. My eyes, then yours. 459 00:23:46,909 --> 00:23:48,919 Oh, fuck! 460 00:23:48,953 --> 00:23:49,878 What do I do? 461 00:23:50,871 --> 00:23:52,756 It's him. I know it. 462 00:23:52,790 --> 00:23:54,216 - You answer it. - You answer it. 463 00:23:54,249 --> 00:23:55,768 It's your job. 464 00:23:57,127 --> 00:24:00,014 I'm actually off the clock, so you answer it. 465 00:24:00,047 --> 00:24:01,223 Fuck. 466 00:24:01,256 --> 00:24:02,733 Okay. 467 00:24:06,971 --> 00:24:08,230 Hello, this is Terry. 468 00:24:08,263 --> 00:24:10,274 Yeah, it's me. - It's Lindy. 469 00:24:10,307 --> 00:24:11,567 Oh, I'm not missing this shit show. 470 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,028 Your phone is off. 471 00:24:14,061 --> 00:24:15,779 For just this reason. 472 00:24:15,813 --> 00:24:19,291 You're hiding from me because you failed me. 473 00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:20,617 No, no, no, no, no. 474 00:24:20,651 --> 00:24:22,703 You failed me. 475 00:24:22,736 --> 00:24:24,955 What happened to do nothing, say nothing? 476 00:24:24,989 --> 00:24:26,915 You don't understand. 477 00:24:26,949 --> 00:24:28,876 I am so small. 478 00:24:28,909 --> 00:24:31,136 I needed something. 479 00:24:32,246 --> 00:24:36,550 Well, you're about to get smaller. 480 00:24:36,583 --> 00:24:38,427 Lindy, the damage has been done. 481 00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:40,262 The Pulitzer committee is meeting 482 00:24:40,295 --> 00:24:41,972 and there's talk of rescinding your award. 483 00:24:42,006 --> 00:24:43,557 What? No. 484 00:24:43,590 --> 00:24:45,768 No, not--no, they can't. 485 00:24:45,801 --> 00:24:48,270 They can. And they most likely will. 486 00:24:48,303 --> 00:24:49,613 But... 487 00:24:51,015 --> 00:24:53,617 but what am I without it? 488 00:24:55,811 --> 00:24:57,454 A former client. 489 00:24:59,314 --> 00:25:00,374 Terry... 490 00:25:01,358 --> 00:25:02,710 Brutal but warranted. 491 00:25:03,177 --> 00:25:04,912 Lindy, I tried. I really tried, 492 00:25:04,945 --> 00:25:07,247 but I'm somehow still clean in this, this, this... 493 00:25:07,281 --> 00:25:09,416 Shit storm, shit sandwich, a shitnado. 494 00:25:09,450 --> 00:25:10,968 ...shitnado. 495 00:25:11,368 --> 00:25:12,669 I warned you, Lindy, 496 00:25:12,703 --> 00:25:15,089 and you chose Jenna over me. 497 00:25:15,122 --> 00:25:18,509 Over our friendship, our partnership. 498 00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:20,761 I can't--I can't believe I'm saying this, 499 00:25:20,794 --> 00:25:22,805 but I, I... 500 00:25:28,552 --> 00:25:30,571 I'm officially cutting ties with you. 501 00:25:31,638 --> 00:25:32,823 Terry... 502 00:25:33,807 --> 00:25:35,484 please. No. 503 00:25:35,517 --> 00:25:37,111 Please don't leave me. I... 504 00:25:37,144 --> 00:25:38,946 I have no one. 505 00:25:38,979 --> 00:25:41,281 I am totally alone here. 506 00:25:41,315 --> 00:25:45,119 I, uh--my own mother, my daughter, my husband, 507 00:25:45,152 --> 00:25:46,537 Les fuckin' hates me. 508 00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:49,957 Uh, it is truly over between us now, 509 00:25:49,990 --> 00:25:52,843 and I can't lose you, too. 510 00:25:55,329 --> 00:25:57,172 I'm sorry it's come to this. 511 00:26:09,259 --> 00:26:11,353 Hey, you had to. I know it's hard. 512 00:26:11,386 --> 00:26:12,696 I'll miss her, too. 513 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,816 Oh, um, Ms. Holden, Happy New Year. 514 00:26:15,849 --> 00:26:17,401 Nothing happy, nothing new. 515 00:26:17,434 --> 00:26:19,203 Why did you offer a Jackie Baldwin 516 00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:22,156 a six-figure book deal when I've seen no Jackie, 517 00:26:22,189 --> 00:26:24,241 no book, no email, no proposal? 518 00:26:24,274 --> 00:26:26,326 Cyd, she is the next big thing. 519 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,995 Yeah, well, you better hope so. 520 00:26:28,028 --> 00:26:31,215 No Lindy, no Jackie, no imprint. 521 00:26:33,909 --> 00:26:35,385 Love the top. 522 00:26:36,703 --> 00:26:38,222 Paper trail, you're unclean. 523 00:26:39,289 --> 00:26:40,474 So are you. 524 00:26:41,416 --> 00:26:42,726 Fuck. 525 00:26:58,267 --> 00:27:00,235 Yeah. 526 00:27:00,269 --> 00:27:04,790 Now, I need a volunteer. 527 00:27:07,651 --> 00:27:08,669 Sir. 528 00:27:24,126 --> 00:27:27,563 That's fantastisch. That's wonderful. 529 00:27:28,839 --> 00:27:31,016 The corn has been miniaturized 530 00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:34,978 into what appears to be one-tenth its original size. 531 00:27:35,012 --> 00:27:37,773 One-twelfth, to be precise. 532 00:27:37,806 --> 00:27:39,074 And now... 533 00:28:03,707 --> 00:28:05,384 I did not expect... 534 00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:07,344 - Two-minute warning. - Not now. 535 00:28:07,377 --> 00:28:09,638 These are serious implications, you know. 536 00:28:09,671 --> 00:28:11,306 You must be-- - Dr. Littlejohn, 537 00:28:11,340 --> 00:28:12,975 it's been an explosive evening. 538 00:28:13,008 --> 00:28:14,693 Sir, uh... 539 00:28:17,721 --> 00:28:20,365 Quick, the corn, go. 540 00:28:24,728 --> 00:28:26,321 Here we are. I was just saying 541 00:28:26,355 --> 00:28:29,825 to, um, Dr. Schaffhausen, who was expecting an explosion, 542 00:28:29,858 --> 00:28:32,578 how clever it was that we mitigated the explosion 543 00:28:32,611 --> 00:28:34,830 by storing the exothermally generated energy 544 00:28:34,863 --> 00:28:36,540 on a subatomic level. 545 00:28:36,573 --> 00:28:37,833 Yes, it was an explosive... 546 00:28:39,368 --> 00:28:40,385 ...discovery. 547 00:28:44,206 --> 00:28:46,008 To an explosive New Year! 548 00:28:46,041 --> 00:28:47,259 man: Yeah! 549 00:29:00,222 --> 00:29:02,574 I've hit rock bottom. 550 00:29:06,561 --> 00:29:08,246 It's all fucking gone. 551 00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:12,584 What is the point? 552 00:29:22,411 --> 00:29:24,630 Richie, you're alive. 553 00:29:24,663 --> 00:29:26,048 Oh, my God. 554 00:29:26,081 --> 00:29:27,641 No, no, no. You disgust me. 555 00:29:29,084 --> 00:29:31,553 I-I mean it. I'm disgusted. 556 00:29:31,586 --> 00:29:33,096 It consumes me. 557 00:29:33,130 --> 00:29:37,392 My heart, my mind, my soul, everything hurts. 558 00:29:37,426 --> 00:29:39,895 Richie. Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 559 00:29:39,928 --> 00:29:41,563 But I-- - But... 560 00:29:41,596 --> 00:29:43,365 - Well, but-- - But... 561 00:29:44,933 --> 00:29:48,120 a true apology should never include a qualifier. 562 00:29:48,979 --> 00:29:50,288 You're right. 563 00:29:50,722 --> 00:29:52,741 I'm sorry. No but. 564 00:29:52,774 --> 00:29:54,793 What I did was inexcusable. 565 00:29:56,778 --> 00:29:59,289 I had no idea Les was gonna react like that. 566 00:29:59,323 --> 00:30:01,458 I didn't think it through. I... 567 00:30:01,491 --> 00:30:03,794 I suppose a reaction of that magnitude 568 00:30:03,827 --> 00:30:05,012 couldn't have been predicted. 569 00:30:05,379 --> 00:30:07,055 I, uh, I need you... 570 00:30:08,332 --> 00:30:09,633 now more than ever. 571 00:30:09,666 --> 00:30:13,136 You have no idea what has happened to me. 572 00:30:13,170 --> 00:30:14,179 - What happened... - I-- 573 00:30:14,212 --> 00:30:15,347 ...to you? 574 00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:17,316 Uh, yeah. The--this-- 575 00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:19,768 I have the floor. 576 00:30:19,801 --> 00:30:21,019 Okay. 577 00:30:21,053 --> 00:30:22,771 I'm gonna finish my monologue. 578 00:30:22,804 --> 00:30:24,189 Of course. 579 00:30:24,222 --> 00:30:27,192 I was forced to do unspeakable things 580 00:30:27,225 --> 00:30:28,985 to one of God's beloved creatures. 581 00:30:29,019 --> 00:30:32,823 I was coerced into abandoning my moral code 582 00:30:32,856 --> 00:30:35,784 and playing a part in your marital folly, 583 00:30:35,817 --> 00:30:37,919 but I am not above reproach. 584 00:30:39,029 --> 00:30:40,664 I am guilty on two counts. 585 00:30:40,697 --> 00:30:42,207 One, in the name of love, 586 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:47,045 and the other, in the name of science. 587 00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:48,714 I believe in Les. 588 00:30:48,747 --> 00:30:51,967 I believe he'll solve the restoration formula 589 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,635 before his 30-day deadline. 590 00:30:53,668 --> 00:30:56,021 And I will beg him... 591 00:30:57,714 --> 00:30:59,391 to forgive me, 592 00:30:59,424 --> 00:31:02,811 then I will throw myself at the mercy of science 593 00:31:02,844 --> 00:31:06,198 in the hopes of being restored to my regular size. 594 00:31:09,518 --> 00:31:12,287 Did you say 30-day deadline? 595 00:31:14,189 --> 00:31:15,907 - That is what you heard? - No. 596 00:31:15,941 --> 00:31:17,659 No, I heard, uh-- I heard it all. 597 00:31:17,692 --> 00:31:21,872 The folly, and the Les, and the--uh, but what-- 598 00:31:21,905 --> 00:31:22,998 - But? - But... 599 00:31:23,031 --> 00:31:24,166 - But? - But what the fuck 600 00:31:24,199 --> 00:31:25,751 is the 30-day deadline? 601 00:31:25,784 --> 00:31:27,335 According to the contract, 602 00:31:27,369 --> 00:31:30,547 Les has 30 days to solve the formula 603 00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:33,675 or he's fired and the tech reverts to Hilton. 604 00:31:33,708 --> 00:31:36,561 He has 22 days left. 605 00:31:38,922 --> 00:31:41,683 He only ever had 30 days? 606 00:31:41,716 --> 00:31:43,101 And now he only has... 607 00:31:43,135 --> 00:31:45,270 - Twenty-two. - Oh, my God. 608 00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:47,489 Oh, it's closer to 21, actually. 609 00:31:48,557 --> 00:31:50,942 Another fuckin' lie! 610 00:31:50,976 --> 00:31:53,069 Oh, my golly. Right? 611 00:31:53,103 --> 00:31:54,696 No. - Wait. Where are you going? 612 00:31:54,729 --> 00:31:58,125 - I need space from you. - Okay. But... 613 00:31:59,609 --> 00:32:01,670 I'm getting my own place. 614 00:32:05,907 --> 00:32:07,342 Fucking Les. 615 00:32:08,452 --> 00:32:10,846 He's gonna pay for this. 616 00:32:16,293 --> 00:32:17,461 Lindy [on recording]: What kind of monster 617 00:32:17,494 --> 00:32:20,096 makes a horrible TikTok video about their own mother? 618 00:32:20,130 --> 00:32:22,599 You are a spoiled child and a lying liar. 619 00:32:22,632 --> 00:32:25,519 Whoo, Mommy mad. 620 00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:27,521 If you thought that was crazy, 621 00:32:27,554 --> 00:32:31,942 wait until you hear DJ Todd's remix! 622 00:32:35,645 --> 00:32:37,489 Yo, mic drop. Mic drop! 623 00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:39,282 crowd [chanting]: Mic drop! Mic drop! 624 00:32:39,316 --> 00:32:41,034 ♪ Liar, liar, lie, liar ♪ 625 00:32:41,067 --> 00:32:42,494 ♪ Liar, liar, lying liar, ♪ 626 00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:44,371 ♪ Liar, lie, lie, liar ♪ 627 00:32:44,404 --> 00:32:46,122 ♪ Monster, monster ♪ 628 00:32:46,156 --> 00:32:47,457 ♪ Liar, liar... ♪ - Mic Drop. 629 00:32:47,491 --> 00:32:50,877 - Hey, want a shot? - Yeah. Okay. 630 00:32:50,911 --> 00:32:52,345 ♪ Monster, monster ♪ 631 00:32:52,546 --> 00:32:54,297 ♪ What kind of monster ♪ 632 00:32:54,331 --> 00:32:55,165 ♪ Makes a horrible ♪ ♪ TikTok video ♪ 633 00:32:55,198 --> 00:32:56,550 ♪ About their own mother? ♪ 634 00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:57,801 ♪ You are a spoiled child ♪ 635 00:32:57,834 --> 00:32:59,177 ♪ And a lying liar ♪ 636 00:32:59,211 --> 00:33:00,854 ♪ What kind of monster... ♪ 637 00:33:02,339 --> 00:33:03,723 Who are you? 638 00:33:03,757 --> 00:33:05,559 - What? - Who are you? 639 00:33:05,592 --> 00:33:07,727 I don't recognize you. 640 00:33:07,761 --> 00:33:10,647 I'm St. Lulu DeLulu. 641 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,190 You got half that right. 642 00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:13,316 Hey, I read the book. 643 00:33:13,350 --> 00:33:15,986 How fuckin' Lindy was my move? 644 00:33:16,019 --> 00:33:19,030 - Very. - See? 645 00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:20,532 I think you missed the point. 646 00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:22,250 That was the point. 647 00:33:24,528 --> 00:33:25,829 Want another drink? 648 00:33:25,862 --> 00:33:28,164 - Sure, boss. - Me too! 649 00:33:28,198 --> 00:33:30,667 Pace yourself, DeLulu. 650 00:33:39,876 --> 00:33:41,261 Can I fuckin' help you? 651 00:33:41,294 --> 00:33:43,096 I don't want your help. 652 00:33:43,129 --> 00:33:45,891 Wow, judgment from the shirtless wonder. 653 00:33:45,924 --> 00:33:48,560 - She's your mom. - She's a liar. 654 00:33:48,593 --> 00:33:50,437 You'll regret it. 655 00:33:50,470 --> 00:33:52,230 Fuck that. 656 00:33:52,264 --> 00:33:55,525 I am her literal regret. 657 00:33:55,559 --> 00:33:58,236 Well, you sure are living up to that title, aren't you? 658 00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:02,198 ♪ Pull me places ♪ ♪ To the end of the... ♪ 659 00:34:19,124 --> 00:34:20,717 You good? 660 00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:23,261 I'm peeing. 661 00:34:23,295 --> 00:34:25,313 You're scrolling. 662 00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:28,433 Fuck off, Tarzan. 663 00:34:28,466 --> 00:34:30,435 No one made you come here. 664 00:34:30,468 --> 00:34:32,395 My bladder made me come here. 665 00:34:32,429 --> 00:34:34,064 You think you're so clever. 666 00:34:34,097 --> 00:34:36,399 I know you came here tonight to see me. 667 00:34:36,433 --> 00:34:39,536 Yeah, says the guy who followed me into the bathroom? 668 00:34:40,770 --> 00:34:43,123 What if I did? Does that frighten you? 669 00:34:44,190 --> 00:34:45,333 A little. 670 00:34:46,610 --> 00:34:49,162 Did you buy that? 671 00:34:49,195 --> 00:34:51,006 I kinda wanted to. Is that bad? 672 00:34:52,866 --> 00:34:54,676 Kind of. 673 00:34:55,869 --> 00:34:57,304 But you kinda liked it. 674 00:34:58,455 --> 00:35:01,057 You did. You followed me in here. 675 00:35:02,626 --> 00:35:03,810 Busted. 676 00:35:10,467 --> 00:35:11,818 Lindy. 677 00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:14,487 Lindy. 678 00:35:14,921 --> 00:35:18,158 Guess who's getting his big prize. 679 00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:27,033 Guess who's gonna open a bottle 680 00:35:27,067 --> 00:35:30,003 of not-to-be-opened-never? Me. 681 00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:35,041 Oh, it's--Richard. 682 00:35:35,075 --> 00:35:36,217 Richard? 683 00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:39,629 Dolores? Richard. 684 00:35:39,663 --> 00:35:42,507 Oh, God. Oh, God. 685 00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:43,967 Oh. 686 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,635 Is that blood? 687 00:35:45,669 --> 00:35:47,470 Whose blood? 688 00:35:47,504 --> 00:35:49,856 Oh, is that-- is that human flesh? 689 00:35:50,674 --> 00:35:52,108 God. Richard? 690 00:35:52,592 --> 00:35:53,735 Richard? 691 00:35:54,436 --> 00:35:56,813 Richard, I'm--I'm--I'm sorry. 692 00:35:56,846 --> 00:35:59,149 I'm sorry. I-- 693 00:35:59,182 --> 00:36:01,818 Richard, I was angry and I was hurt 694 00:36:01,851 --> 00:36:04,371 and I thought a few pecks would even the score. 695 00:36:06,064 --> 00:36:07,374 Richard? 696 00:36:09,859 --> 00:36:12,871 Richard, please. 697 00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:16,299 Please, Richard, reveal yourself. 698 00:36:19,577 --> 00:36:21,713 Lind-- Lindy? 699 00:36:31,047 --> 00:36:35,402 Lindy? Lindy. It's all a dream, all a dream. 700 00:36:45,729 --> 00:36:47,080 Have I killed a man? 701 00:36:48,398 --> 00:36:49,958 A man of science, no less. 702 00:37:00,744 --> 00:37:02,879 Are you Anonymous? 703 00:37:02,912 --> 00:37:05,140 That is the only way this works. 704 00:37:11,171 --> 00:37:12,313 Okay. 705 00:37:13,798 --> 00:37:16,226 I'm not used to the whole cloak-and-dagger routine. 706 00:37:16,259 --> 00:37:18,144 You know, it's Scientific American. 707 00:37:18,178 --> 00:37:19,446 Do you know who I am? 708 00:37:20,430 --> 00:37:23,950 Yeah, you're... Anonymous. 709 00:37:24,601 --> 00:37:26,069 You passed. 710 00:37:26,102 --> 00:37:27,328 Drive. 711 00:37:36,446 --> 00:37:38,706 Hoo. 712 00:37:42,368 --> 00:37:44,921 - Richard. - Janet. 713 00:37:44,954 --> 00:37:46,589 Happy New Year. 714 00:37:46,623 --> 00:37:48,466 Happy New Year to you, too. 715 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,094 Uh, what happened to your head? 716 00:37:51,127 --> 00:37:55,014 Oh, I just--I had an altercation with a bird. 717 00:37:55,048 --> 00:37:56,141 On the farm? 718 00:37:56,174 --> 00:37:57,600 Yeah, something like that. 719 00:37:57,634 --> 00:37:58,601 So, listen. 720 00:37:58,635 --> 00:38:00,645 I just wanted to say 721 00:38:00,678 --> 00:38:02,772 thank you for the quill pen. 722 00:38:02,806 --> 00:38:05,650 It, um, saved my life. 723 00:38:05,683 --> 00:38:08,444 Oh, well, the pen is mightier than the sword. 724 00:38:08,478 --> 00:38:10,196 I can attest to that. 725 00:38:10,230 --> 00:38:11,614 Where are you? 726 00:38:11,648 --> 00:38:15,034 I'm at the lab, in the creepy basement. 727 00:38:15,068 --> 00:38:19,005 Uh, here to reboot the, uh, thermal energy tank. 728 00:38:20,156 --> 00:38:22,041 You drew the short straw again? 729 00:38:22,075 --> 00:38:23,459 Uh-hmm. 730 00:38:23,493 --> 00:38:25,003 Bob should've stepped up. 731 00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:27,380 Oh, yeah. It's... It's okay. I was, um-- 732 00:38:27,413 --> 00:38:28,715 I was out anyway. 733 00:38:28,748 --> 00:38:31,050 Ohh? You on a date? 734 00:38:31,084 --> 00:38:32,385 No, no. 735 00:38:32,418 --> 00:38:34,637 I was, um-- it was a work event. 736 00:38:34,671 --> 00:38:36,397 You wouldn't guess where. 737 00:38:37,215 --> 00:38:38,641 Tell me everything. 738 00:38:38,675 --> 00:38:40,518 It was at Hilton's mansion. 739 00:38:40,552 --> 00:38:41,853 He invited all of us, 740 00:38:41,886 --> 00:38:44,572 me and the Bobs-- Well, not the Bobs so much. 741 00:39:34,314 --> 00:39:37,325 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh. Oh. 742 00:39:37,358 --> 00:39:39,377 Oh, fuck. Oh. Oh. 743 00:39:43,072 --> 00:39:45,291 Happy New Year, Les. 744 00:39:45,325 --> 00:39:46,384 Oh! 745 00:39:56,669 --> 00:39:58,187 Where's Richard?! 746 00:39:59,122 --> 00:40:02,976 Who knows? Weren't you the last one to see him? 747 00:40:03,009 --> 00:40:05,353 {\an8}How's the formula coming, huh? 748 00:40:05,386 --> 00:40:06,854 What have you got, 22 days left? 749 00:40:06,888 --> 00:40:09,190 Or is it technically 21 now? 750 00:40:09,223 --> 00:40:10,733 Lindy... 751 00:40:10,767 --> 00:40:13,786 Either way, I bet you're so close. 752 00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:18,574 Make that the epitaph of my tiny headstone, fucker. 753 00:40:18,608 --> 00:40:19,826 {\an8}I didn't wanna tell you 754 00:40:19,859 --> 00:40:20,994 {\an8}'cause I didn't wanna worry you. 755 00:40:21,027 --> 00:40:22,996 {\an8}And I'm not worried! 756 00:40:23,029 --> 00:40:24,664 {\an8}I've accepted. 757 00:40:24,697 --> 00:40:26,582 You can't solve the formula. 758 00:40:26,616 --> 00:40:28,334 I will solve the formula! Fuck you! 759 00:40:28,368 --> 00:40:30,336 You lie even to yourself. 760 00:40:30,370 --> 00:40:34,382 {\an8}I've made peace with being six inches tall. 761 00:40:34,415 --> 00:40:36,175 {\an8}I even kinda like it. 762 00:40:36,209 --> 00:40:39,554 {\an8}And I plan to make the next 21 days of your life 763 00:40:39,587 --> 00:40:42,015 {\an8}a living hell. 764 00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:43,266 {\an8}What? Why? 765 00:40:43,299 --> 00:40:45,268 Careful, sweetie. 766 00:40:45,301 --> 00:40:46,853 Your ass is on fire. 767 00:40:59,273 --> 00:41:00,867 Oh, God. 768 00:41:00,900 --> 00:41:04,128 I've created a tiny monster. 769 00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,425 Oh! Oh, no. 770 00:41:14,580 --> 00:41:16,516 The stars have claimed one of their own. 771 00:41:20,753 --> 00:41:22,814 It's been an honor, Space Colonel. 772 00:41:36,019 --> 00:41:37,829 Oh. 773 00:41:42,150 --> 00:41:43,910 What the fuck? 774 00:41:43,943 --> 00:41:45,161 Where... 775 00:41:45,194 --> 00:41:46,579 where... 776 00:41:46,612 --> 00:41:49,582 I'll see your tiny cat, Dr. Littlejohn. 777 00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:52,385 And raise you a tiny, 778 00:41:53,619 --> 00:41:56,589 silenced reporter. 779 00:41:58,458 --> 00:42:01,761 Ta-da. 780 00:42:23,900 --> 00:42:26,335 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 781 00:42:32,492 --> 00:42:34,343 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 782 00:42:40,917 --> 00:42:43,719 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 783 00:42:43,753 --> 00:42:49,350 ♪ Put on your red shoes ♪ ♪ And dance the blues ♪ 784 00:42:49,383 --> 00:42:51,477 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 785 00:42:51,511 --> 00:42:53,980 ♪ To the song ♪ ♪ They're playing ♪ 786 00:42:54,013 --> 00:42:57,859 ♪ On the radio ♪ 787 00:42:57,892 --> 00:42:59,485 ♪ Let's sway ♪ 788 00:42:59,519 --> 00:43:05,124 ♪ While color lights up ♪ ♪ Your face ♪ 789 00:43:06,275 --> 00:43:08,828 ♪ Let's sway ♪ 790 00:43:08,861 --> 00:43:12,799 ♪ Sway through the crowd ♪ ♪ To an empty space ♪ 791 00:43:14,867 --> 00:43:16,836 ♪ Let's dance, let's dance ♪ 792 00:43:16,869 --> 00:43:18,921 ♪ Let's dance, let's dance ♪ 793 00:43:18,955 --> 00:43:20,890 ♪ Let's dance ♪ 794 00:43:27,380 --> 00:43:28,898 ♪ Let's dance ♪